When You Are Gone
There is one quote from a fiction book that he read recently, which goes as:
“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'you're safe with me'- that's intimacy.”
But I can't tell my whole truth. He probably thinks I withhold and hide things, and that I lied (but he didn't say anything). But that's not true. When we were doing Zoom calls, I didn't know what to say. We used to chat a lot, but now we do not. I do not feel like sharing much. He does not shares much either. He is travelling a lot and so tired. Last time we had a call on June 25th, which was more than three weeks ago. No talk since then.
When we were together, it felt good. Perhaps, it was because of good sex, yummy food and videogames. But he does not know me much beyond bedroom and kitchen. He does not know my friends or family, although we have known each other for over a year. I met his sister. I think she is nice. I did not introduce him to my friends, while he was here. I just got used for people to tell me their things and not to share much of my own.
Sometimes when he shares with me something interesting, I reply: "Nice". There is not much to say, really. I know he has been through a lot, he shared with me some of that. I just didn't know what to say, sometimes it was awkward dead air, sometimes I replied: "I can't imagine how it must feel". So I leave it to him. He is strong, mature, he will handle.
I hope things will be ok, once we are both in Hong Kong together.
You're slipping through my fingertips
A little bit by a little bit
I didn't know that loving you was the happiest I've ever been
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