Learning from others
4:57 am.. After 3 hours of successful sleeping I woke up with accompany the most liked marsh ever. Today I change my place of living and come back to Troeshchyna (part of Kyiv). And now I am in first morning train on the way to the capital city of Ukraine, few people are in train car with me and lots of points in my mind.
Bohdan Havrylyshyn said that we have to see a good part of people. Everybody has his/her own light and dark sides. But if we see and concentrate on positive side of a person, he or she will try to correspond to this view (it's a human psyhology). And he said there will be a disappointment sometimes. And finally I faced with this.
One thing for me was quite obvious, like an axiom in math: if you are friends, I mean really true friends, there shouldn't be any unsaid "background" questions. And I think such approach should be accepted in life generally. Following the Stephen Covie's statement (from the book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People") seek first to understand, then to be understood. And I can't understand a totally opposite to this point behavior from person, who, I thought, was one of my best friends. Only when we found "a time for true" I recognized several interesting facts. I think it is a double game, when a person said you in face one thing, but truly think other. A good lesson was learned: expect nothing.
I remember a point, which a friend of mine Kimboy from Phillipines said after Asia Youth Forum in Seoul: the most of the problems are in the world, because of lack of understanding. It is so much difference: when a person can't understand (because of marketing myopia) and don't want to understand (because of selfishness). And I think the advice from Bohdan Havrylyshyn works, when people are not your close friends - just in general for communication it is good and really helpful.
It is important to hear a feedback, what can be improved. I think that is the way for development and growth in field, where you want to be better - professional level (when you ask your boss or superviser for feedback) or personal level (when you ask your friends and teammates for feedback). Why it is normal and quite spread (at least in international companies) in the first part (professional), but not in second (personal)? Should we only develop themselfes as a professionals? I don't think so. Of course, it does not mean that you have to go now and give a feedback to all of your friends. Only if some of them ask you. It means (s)he needs this. So, you have to be brave to answer.